Bullying

I saw this posted on Facebook several times over the past few days.  As someone who works in schools, where the bulk of bullying tends to occur, as someone who has been bullied, as someone who has bullied others, and as a father of a daughter who was bullied just this year, I found it interesting.

First, the post -

Now as this appeared it really wasn't a statement about bullying as much as it was a statement from Right Wing News (whom I don't happen to follow on Facebook) about how if we become more tolerant and accepting, we will all be victims.

Most of the Facebookers who posted this also are quick to post fundamental religious posts too.  And that's great.  My only question is this, who does Christ say will inherit the earth and prosper? Is it the bullies? Is those who fight hate with hate?  Nope. It's the meek.  It's the gentle.  Right?  It is not an eye for an eye.  It's turn the other cheek.  And what is so amazing about Christ and all of his teachings, is his incredible ability to love and forgive.  I think those who are quick to embrace the above ideology forget all about that side of Christ.

** Personally, and I could be very wrong here, but my gut belief is that those who have posted this - at least from those I follow - are bullies themselves who simply want their actions condoned.

Now, on to the specific topic of bullying.  Yes, kids have always acted this way.  But does that mean we have to accept it - and as the slogan above suggests, learn to "cope" with it?

Might we not apply this to abortions?  Woman have sought to terminate their pregnancies long before it was legal.  Should we just tell them to "cope" with their decisions?  Or should we educate them on the terrible, terrible repercussions that abortions have on others and themselves?  Should we not educate others on the value of life and the benefits of adoption?  Should we also not try to pass laws against abortion, especially late term abortions?

Or how about this one.  When the Duck Dynasty controversy over what Phil said about gays and African Americans flared up, many supporters of Phil said that the liberals were acting like bullies.  Perhaps they were.  What would those supporters think if they were told that this has always happened. Just stand up for yourselves. If you can't, then just learn to cope with it?

For a period of time in high school I was bullied by Joey, who was a few years older than me.  I was also bullied by a classmate, Chad.  I did learn to 'cope' with the behavior, though that didn't make the bus rides home or the encounters in the hallways any less terrible.  Finally, I did stand up to them, and I learned one simple truth about them - they were pathetic.  And in my eyes that's how they will always remain.

The older I became the more I realized that both of these individuals grew up in homes that I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to grow up in.  So their behaviors were I am sure a way of taking out their frustrations, as a result of their home lives, on others.

That didn't make it any easier for me.  And luckily for me, I didn't grow up in the internet age.  If Joey and Chad would have had the tools to humiliate and injure via social media that today's youth have, who knows if I would have ever been able to cope with the bullying.

That also didn't make me stop bullying others as I grew older and picked on an underclassman in sports.  Now it was never violent or necessarily mean spirited, but I know I didn't go out of my way to help him.  And to this day I still feel terribly about that.

Today, I am so proud of my students and how tolerant they are of others with different beliefs and attitudes.  Our school is not perfect, certainly.  But it's far more accepting than it was ten years ago and it's far more kind and tolerant than the school I grew up in.

One of the highlights of my year was when I witnessed one of our volleyball captains take time after our pep fest (when they were headed to the section championship for the second year in a row) to stop and visit with a special needs student who is also a rabid sports/Prowler fan.

Yet, this spring I found Kenzie facing some bullies on her bus ride to her daycare provider.  She and her good friend from daycare were being bullied by two boys from a different school.  I taught her how to make a fist and, if necessary, I told her that she had my permission to stand up for herself, even if it meant punching the bullies.

But she couldn't bring herself to do that.  So I called the transportation head and he let the bus driver know what was going on and the situation was immediately fixed.

I don't know what would have happened if he would have just told me, "Well, that's just kids being kids.  They have to learn to stand up for themselves and cope.  We don't want to create a society of victims, do we?"

I'd much rather have a society of loving, empathetic, caring, compassionate, honest, hardworking, diligent, intelligent, passionate, and kind individuals.  If that were the case would there even be a distinction between victor and victim?  How could Rightwing News or Leftwing News or Libertarian News or Bull Moose News possible disagree with that?

How is this type of thing creating a society of victims?