Today's reads, views, and listens

I love this. I've always wondered about the phrase, "You've changed."

As if changing is a bad thing.

I always thing, if I hear that, well, yes I have. I'm trying to get better and not be the same teacher I was last year.


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Norms vs. Rules - Akimbo

Seth Godin, one of my favs, has a great podcast called Akimbo. The one I listened to while cleaning the pool this morning was on Norms vs. Rules.

Godin's point is that an over-reliance on rules is an exercise in futility. What you really need to do is change the norms.

We see this in my school right now.

Take the hat policy. We have a 'rule' that no hats are allowed. The problem is, though, that the 'norm' has become that students will not obey the rule and, thus, wear their caps. To compound this, it has become a 'norm' for teachers/admin/staff to ignore the rule too. We all have seen kids walk by with hats and we just sigh and shut our mouths, tired of fighting the fight. Or we have staff members wear hats themselves!

So what is the point of the rule if the norm says otherwise? There is no point.

Take vaping. We have a major problem in our school. We have rules. No vaping. But that isn't followed by a significant portion of our student body. Some believe upwards of half our kids vape in school.

Clearly there is a new norm regarding this.

The rules are clearly ineffective. There really is no point in having a vaping rule. What is the point as it isn't followed?

Unless you change the norm.

How do you do that? Work on changing the culture. Work on making the norm one where students don't want to wear hats.

Now, there are some rules that are more important than others.  Godin gives measles as an example. Nature has a rule for measles: if you contract the disease, you can die. Thus, thanks to science and rational thought and movement policy, we devised a 'norm' - vaccines are important. If you get vaccinated against measles, you will not contract it and die.

But that norm has been changing over the years in small, foolish pockets among parents. They choose to disobey the rule of Mother Nature/God and not get their kids vaccinated. And thus kids are again dying from measles as it spreads more.

Godin notes that the key is to change the norm and then worry about the rules. One way of thinking about norms is this "People like us (describe who 'us' are) doe things like this (insert what 'this' is)."

Examples -

Prowler football players are role models for younger people by striving to do the right thing.

Teachers at Lincoln know that our work matters because it's not about us.

Parents who love their kids let them fail and then help pick them up.

Lincoln high school students can wear hats because we believe it doesn't impede their learning. In fact, we believe students learn best when they are comfortable and authentic.

When you need rules to implement those things, you lose.

That's not to say that rules aren't important. They are. But norms are vital too. And they are often more powerful than rules. After all, it's better NOT to have to make a rule because the behavior you want to establish is the norm rather than having to make a rule to force the behavior you want to establish because it isn't the norm.

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Bobbi, a colleague and former classmate of mine, shared this insightful post via Facebook today: Why Silence is Often the Best Response to a Verbal Attack. I think given the social media saturated world in which we are trapped (notice how I phrased that. Not "given the social media saturated world in which we live) I think this is a great point. And a very worthy read.

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And, then again, maybe there are times to voice (with reason and bravery) your response to a verbal attack as The Pelican Rapids Press did when a fear monger declared them an Anti-American rag.

This is a wonderful example of writing.  This piece has it all. Humor and satire (just look at the opening where they agree with the Mike Morgan (the tool who called them an Anti-American rag) where they say it is true. They are an anti-American rag . . . because Facebook said so.

The authors acknowledge their 'error' that in their haste to meet their deadline they published a random assortment of Pelican High graduates, some of whom happened to be Somali. Unthinkable! I especially love how they phrased the line "we unthinkingly included a couple pictures of our Somali graduates." I love the use of the pronoun "our" there. Brilliant.

Then they turn on a dime and dump it all back on Morgan for being such a brave American that he would (most likely) make up the name "Mike Morgan" and bravely share this thoughts on social media rather than going down to their offices to discuss his concerns.

The authors conclude their response with this wonderful sidetone -

Another reminder for Mr. Mike Morgan:  If you really wish to experience a horrendous display of “Anti-Americanism,” please join us for the June 22 “Friendship Festival” in Pelican Rapids. 

We anticipate a full range of subversive activity–including Somali dancers, Native American drummers, Mexican performers and even (God forbid) a Scandinavian music group–who are also descendents of a bunch of rag-tag immigrants.  

Multicultural radicals…each and every one of them.  

Please join us.  At Pelican’s Sherin Park, from about 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., June 22.  

It promises to be a  shameless show of unpatriotic pageantry–a visual spectacle sure to reinforce what it means to be American. 

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Cash has gotten into baseball this summer. Not only did he decide to play baseball (though yesterday he told me that he really wants to just hit or pitch (ha ha) since he doesn't really like to catch the ball, so we will see how long his newfound love really lasts), but Cash also has expressed interest in watch The Twins.

Luckily, the Twins are really having a great year. Last night we watched the sixth and seventh innings when the Twins squandered bases loaded tied 1-1 and then in the next inning promptly gave up a home run to fall behind 2-1. We finally went to bed and as I was reading, I glanced at the ESPN app on my phone and saw the game was tied 2-2 in the ninth.

I didn't think until just this morning to see who won. Incredibly the game went into extra innings and lasted 17 innings! What a game. But I'm glad I didn't stay up to watch it.

Cash's interest in baseball mirrors Kenzie's interest in basketball last winter, for she became a Duke fan and we became avid March Madness viewers.

Their interest in baseball and basketball, respectively, reminds me of my beginning fascination with football. Up until 9th grade, I was just an occasion fan of football. I'd watch a quarter or so and then get bored and go up to my room to read and write. But that 9th grade year (1988) changed that for my favorite team went to the Super Bowl (and of course lost in the final minute), but the following fall I began watching college football (my first year college football game was the 1989 Michigan vs. Notre Dame game when the Rocket scored two touchdowns to help the Irish beat the Wolverines). After that, I was hooked.

Unfortunately, watching football grew into an obsession. If there was a game on, I was watching it. If my team lost (which was routine), it ruined my whole day.

Luckily, over the years, I've distanced myself from that obsession and can just watch and enjoy it for what it really is - a stupid game.

I hope Cash and Kenzie keep that in mind too.

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The Everyday Beauty of Playgrounds.

Playgrounds are a staple of our afternoons together in the summer. We make our rounds to the various parks in TRF (usually the ones with the fewest people). But I never really thought about their beauty and impact until a new one opened this summer.

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Always remember, what you put on line matters. Always.

Harvard rescinds 10 offers to students who shared hateful and racist information on line.

We live in a free country and you can freely say or post what you want, but that doesn't mean you can't get fired for it, have someone become upset with your, or lose out on a scholarship offer.

That is one reason I post things like this during the summer. Kids need role models. I don't post (anymore at least) about any drama or crisis because I don't let that define my life.  Being curious, passionate about my work, and a great husband/father define who I am and that's what I try to reflect on line.

In fact, yesterday I was dropping my daughter off to get a ride with a parent and coach up to her JO volleyball game in Roseau. One of her coaches, a former student of mine and an all-around amazing young lady, said that she saw my last "Today's Reads, Views, and Listens" on Facebook and read it.  Then she said that she thought I was taking the summer off.

Never! I'll echo Bill Belichick here: no days off. I work as hard as everyone else and am busier than most during the school year (UND, coaching football, helping advise the yearbook, teaching at the high school, teaching summer school at the ALC, parenting, and living life in general) and I don't need three months off. What about the rest of the world who has to work 12 months out of the year?

I try to (mostly) keep my head down and work. And learn. And grow. And try to be a better teacher than I was last year.

That's the message kids need to see on line.

Perhaps Harvard should take a page from Concordia and have their freshmen read this book, which is an option for my College Comp II Sticky Note book report: So You've Been Publicly Shamed. Yes, it's sad that the 10 students lost their offers to attend Harvard, but their lives are not over by any means.

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Here is a great example of why being a great role model matters. It all matters.

Enjoy.

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And maybe the best thing I'll read all week: Adversity may just be a student's best friend.

In this post Dr. Tim Elmore looks at something that is obvious to us but so hard to actually follow, especially for helicopter and now lawnmower parents: adversity is good for our kids (and us)!

In fact, here is a link that helps you diagnose yourself as a lawnmower parent (named as such because instead of preparing your child for the path of life, lawnmower parents try to prepare the path of life for their children).

Some tell-tale signs -

1. Before you child was born, you got rid of all pets so they wouldn't scratch or bite your precious little one. (I recall a doctor telling us to be careful with any cats that we might have because they might crawl into the crib and smother the newborn. This sounds like a legit concern, but in doing research, I couldn't find out single example of this ever happening. I did find horrible examples of unfit parents tossing their children off bridges, putting them in ovens, and leaving them in cars while they shop. Maybe keep the cat and not be a terrible parent?)

2.  You got to bat over every "B" your child gets. Self-explanatory. The grade isn't about your child. It's about the effort and work that your child puts in and produces. Those are two totally different things.

3.  You hold your child back because they will be bigger the next year. This is traditionally done with athletics in mind. This isn't done to help them mature intellectually or emotionally. It's just done so they can be one of the older/bigger kids in their class.

If you are guilty of those 3 or any of the 11, stop it! You're messing your kid up. They will have enough adversity as it is. The parents should be part of that adversity!

Elmore notes - as our mental health experts did when they presented on our final inservice day how adversity does negatively effect children - when teachers (and students themselves) are aware of the adversity they have experienced, they can develop grit, which maybe is the best thing possible.

I just heard a great quote, when you hit rock bottom (obviously due to adversity), that is a really good thing, for rock bottom makes a hell of a solid foundation on which to build.

What if all of us had that philosophy instead of complaining (and worse, heading to Facebook or Twitter to complain for all to see how miserable our lives really are), we got to work.

Elmore writes -

The fact is, researchers have found new ways that adversity creates better people. Higher education is now focusing on students who come from difficult circumstances and factoring that in when evaluating S.A.T. scores. Whether you agree with the move or not, it’s a recognition of the fact that variables besides academics can produce a successful graduate. The College Board, which oversees the S.A.T., decided it would assign an “adversity score” to each college applicant who takes the test, “…the score will be determined by 15 factors, among them: the crime rate in the student’s neighborhood, the median income of the applicant’s household, and whether he or she comes from a single parent home.”

In fact, Yale University now claims they’ve used this new metric and believes it is “part of the success story to help diversify our freshman class.” The bottom line is simple: educators are now recognizing how the social and emotional factors in a student’s life may be predictors of a successful person later on. Those who endure tough circumstances might just have more grit and resilience in college.

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And a sign the world is a good place and worth fighting for -

Support whatever side you want, but don't be a sign of hate, ignorance, and intolerance.

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I so wish Dalton Risner would have been available when the Bengals drafted in the second round. I know they were trying to move up to take another offensive lineman but couldn't move up.

Denver got a good player here and an even better human being. We need more Dalton Risners and fewer Proud Boys.