How to Fix American Education

The solution is easy -

Hire John Merrow as Secretary of Education.

Then hire Leon Botstein as superintendent of schools (his best ideas - make it cool to be an adult.  Cut middle schools.  End high school after the 10th grade.  Stop expecting less from our young people and demand more.  They are capable of it).

Hire Sir Ken Robinson to be the principal (his best ideas - recognize that schools kill creativity and a love for learning.  Recognize the importance of individual student passions.  Design individualized curriculum.)


Hire James Burke to be the curriculum coordinator (his best idea - the knowledge web . . . people don't learn in isolation.  All knowledge is linked.  Plus, we don't demand enough of our kids.  We need to really start scratching our potentials. Actually, I don't think the man has any bad ideas!)

Now on to the faculty.  This will include a few shockers.

Hire Mark Bauerlein (he of The Dumbest Generation) to be the English department head (his best idea - millennials are the dumbest generation.  I'd love to see his students work to prove him wrong), Neil Postman to be the social studies head (his best ideas - limit technology, teach students what it means to truly be an "American"), Debra Meier to head up the humanities (her best idea - small schools matter.  We need to create human communities to produce productive citizens and not test takers), Phylis Schlafly to teach social studies (to see if she can put her money where he mouth is and really teach kids.  I don't care if she indoctrinates them to her extreme right view.  My next faculty member will be a nice juxtaposition.  I can't honestly say that she has any good ideas, but she is passionate and interesting), Michael Moore to teach government and multi-media (his best idea - recognizes the power of the media to manipulate and challenge and his leftist view will balance Schlafly.  Could you just imagine the faculty meetings?), Steven Johnson to teach innovation and creativity (his best idea - everything bad is good for you), Barry Schwartz to teach psychology (his best idea - we have lost our practical wisdom and we need to regain it as a society.  We stick too rigidly to rules), Clifford Stoll to work in the sciences (just watch his TED Talk and you'll know what I mean), Dan Meyer to teach in the math department (check out his TED Talk on how to reform math), Jillian Michaels can run the phy-ed and health department (Clifford Stoll can help too (if you watched his TED video you got a workout) and Steven Johnson could help too (his work on the cholera outbreak in London is great stuff for health).  Under their stewardship you could just about hire any underlinings - like me - to teach and do well.  How could you not be inspired and motivated by such talented, intelligent, and engaging people?


That would do it.

Just to make sure our schools remain superior, I'd like to also suggest outsourcing Arne Duncan and Michelle Rhee and their love for high stakes testing to China.  They'd do more damage to our rivals than any tsunami, earthquake, or nuclear disaster ever could.