Oh, Phyllis

While prepping for a discussion on the book we are reading in College Comp II, Mark Bauerlein's The Dumbest Generation, I came across this podcast

Since I was trying to get my students to actually hear the author, I downloaded the two-part episode and put it on my iPod to preview.

To say that I was both shocked and interested, would be an understatement. I couldn't wait to see what my students would think of both Schlafly and Bauerlein. And their thoughts and discussions made for the high light of my school year.

Schlafly, if, like me, you have never heard of her, is a far right wing conspiracy nut. She is convinced that the the abandonment of the teaching of phonics is only one of several things damning the country to ruin.

(Speaking of right wing nuts, as I type this I got a call from the NRA. Worse than a telemarketer!)

She and Bauerlein pretty much spend the hour trashing anyone under 30 as brainless, hopeless, and pointless.

Bauerlein is easily the more interesting of the two. Phyllis just seemed pleased to plug her book on phonics and to relish stressing "dumbest" every time she said the book's title.

However, the students were really up for the discussion, because they challenged everything and really showed their stuff. One of their best points came when the moderator wondered if anyone under 30 would actually call in to the show to refute Bauerlein's claims.

"Who under 30 would even listen to this?" a student asked.

And there he had a great point. Bauerlein had just claimed that because young people text each other meaningless information all the time, they don't develop a social consciousness that his generation did. He asked the question, "How many ever text messages about Abraham Lincoln or The Bill of Rights?"

I'd like to know just how much the people of Bauerlein's generation really spent talking about such things. He and Phyllis and made it sound like their generations were so busy discussing foreign affairs, politics, and history that they had no time at all for anything other than serious discussions.

Preposterous.

I'm the tale end of the Gen Xers, and - like typical teens before more me - I could have cared less about such things.

Yet, he rails against this generation for doing it.

Just as we discussed this, Bauerlein accused this generation of simply "group" thinking. Since they don't argue over the causes of the Civil War or Einstein's theories, they just blindly follow along and never think outside of their 'group.'

But the beautiful irony here - and my students caught on to this right away - was that no one other than the far, far right would bother to tune in to Phyllis' show! So she was only taking call from her 'group.' And every one who called in only thought one way.

Beautiful.

But the odd thing was as the students listened to Shlafly and Bauerlein, and as their anger grew, I found myself defending both Shlafly and Bauerlien, and even playing devil's advocate.

Both of them took the stance that the world was sooooooo much better when they were young because they were taught morals and the proper knowledge while today's kids are hopeless.

Though, I just found this news story about those wonderful good old days. Not so good after all, were they?

Still, the podcast had an interesting result, it got the students quite fired up to do some writing about their supposed 'dumbest' generation. (to supplement things, I also emailed two professors to get their opinions on this - and they both came down firmly on the side of this current generation being far from the dumbest)

Last week I decided to check out more of Phyllis' podcasts. So I downloaded several to my iPod and began listening to them today as I stained our front steps.

Boy was I in for a shock.

But - then again - based off the titles, maybe I shouldn't have been shocked at all. Here's a sampling -

"Climategate" - an interview with mediorologist Brian Sussman who published the book that refutes global warming. But - and this is a recurring theme with Phyllis - her guests never just refute one thing. It always is linked back to the root of all evil: liberals, the UN, feminists, free trade, whole language instruction, same-sex marriage, and - worst of all - the NEA!

Sussman - who makes Mel Gibson's character from Conspiracy Theory (remember the guy? The one who horded copies of The Catcher in the Rye because all the assassins of major figures had loved the book?) look sane. While I found his counter-argument interesting, it really started to fall apart when he built up this elaborate scheme by Obama and the U.N. to put an end to fossil fuels so the U.S. would wither and be on par with modern day Africa now (you can't make this up!). Then Phyllis had her son call in and he went so far as to turn the energy debate into a (and again, you can't make this stuff up) "Pro-Life" choice since countries with high energy consumption have longer life spans. I actually found myself chuckling out loud as I listened this this one and tried to stain the deck. "Nothing like stating the obvious!" I said to no one in particular - other than Joker who was lounging in the sun. But apparently these evil politicians in control now want to cut off our power and reduce our population and set up back to another Dark Age (I'm not making this up, either. Listen to the podcast. It's a hoot!). Sussman was shocked that in California there are plans to hook each home up to the grid with a 'smart meter' that would allow the energy company to control your energy at certain 'peak' times. I had to laugh. That's how many of us deal with 'off peak' heating right now. Yet, I hardly think we're beating down the door to Red Lake Electric!

But the real fun came from the callers. One man called in to - essentially - tell us that maybe global warming is the coming of the Rapture where an angel is going to do something to the sun where it will grow extra large and burn the sinners off the earth. I really chuckled at this one. Phyllis hastily got this nut job off the radio. But I would have rather listened to him than Sussman, who actually believes that our current administration is nothing more than a bunch of Malthusiasts who really want to see death and destruction reign in America because we need to have the heard thinned a bit.

"Violent Video Games" - this one I actually agreed with. Phyllis had on a lawyer who had a case pending in California's supreme court to make it a law for employees of Target, Walmart, and Game Stop (to name a few) to require a parent be present when selling a violent video game (Grand Theft Auto, Call of Duty, and so on) to a minor.

"How Evil Works" - this one was an interview with someone named David Kupelian. He started out with an interesting premise in examining how humanity tends to be lured in by evil. We see this manifested in our celebrities. But then he began to mention Hitler and Obama in the same breath, and I gave up.

"America's Schools" - an interview with Professor Allan Quist, who happens to be from Minnesota (and a former congressman). I found myself agreeing with several things that Quist had to say, but then he delved into the US government's conspiracy to turn us all into one nation under nato, and he lost me.

I never realized that the right had such cooks. I knew the left did. The closest thing I could think of to all this conspiracy theory nonsense was the rock band "Rage Against the Machine," who always seem to suspect the government of exploiting or assassinating some minority leader.

Phyllis is the right's equivalent of Rage Against the Machine.

But the highlight for me as I listened to the podcasts of Phyllis' radio show was the commercials.

First, the nefarious NEA (of which I am a member and actually attended a parliamentary session last spring). Apparently, they support abortion, same-sex marriage, and conducting experiments on children in public schools. Funny, but as we spent two days discussing policies and resolutions, I never heard anything about this. Must be a real secret conspiracy then!

Then there is Phyllis' hatred of "Outcome Based Education." Apparently, this is a vehicle for liberal teachers to brainwash their students into gay or lesbian tree-huggers who want a one world government.

But best of all, you can get Phylli's education newsletter. Apparently, she has a secret window into what goes on in public schools around the country, for the commercial states that public schools are forcing your sons or daughter to watch - gasp - R rated movies (I don't force them, but I'm guilty as charged. I've shown Crash, Little Miss Sunshine, No Country for Old Men, The Thing, Training Day, Blade Runner, and American History X. Lock me up. Actually, I'm scheming a way to show Seven in my College Comp II class. It's a tough sell - given the death scene for the sin of 'lust' but there's got to be a way to work around this . . .), advocating gay and lesbian rights, and pushing an anti-American agenda. I'm getting a subscription. I can't wait to read it!

She also mentioned that Eagle Forum offers free online classes. This is brilliant, I thought as I mowed the lawn today. So I quickly texted my College Comp II class to see if they would be up for enrolling as part of one of our research projects. Everyone who texted me back loved the idea and were eager to debate.

Overall, Phyllis has me second guessing my secret agenda of turning my kids into Muslim loving Malthusian liberals.