Back from the cities

Minneapolis. A wonderful place to visit. But I would never want to live there.

The cities are great. We have visited the Minneapolis Institute of Arts, the Ordway, the zoo, the Orpheum, and, of course, the Mall of America.

There is so much for one to do. All in such close proximity.

But the driving!

I actually enjoy the drive down to the cities. Until we get on to the interstate at Clearwater. Then I’m a nervous wreck.

There’s just something about being nearly bumper to bumper at 70 miles an hour that terrifies me.

Now, throw in having to observe the signs . . . and I’m a wreck.

Thank God for mapquest!

But still, it terrifies me. What happens if we miss our exit? Mapquest is only good for where you are going. It doesn’t come with contingency directions.

I guess that is what GPS is for, but I don’t see that in our future any time soon.

Luckily, we had Jake, Casey’s friend, along with us. He was familiar with downtown Minneapolis. Plus, Kristie has a good sense of direction.

Me? I’m clueless down there. I’ll get to looking at something and whiz right past our turn. Or, worse, get so caught up in trying to follow the signs that I get on the wrong route. I used to think that you had to be right beneath those huge signs and right on the specific lane in order to be on, say 35W. Even though in reality the entire road is 35W. I thought the middle lane was 35W while the lane to the left was 494 and the lane on my right was 594 (if there is such a road!). You can imagine how hectic that was!

“Oh, you’d get used to it,” people always say about the traffic down there after the obligatory, “I could never live down here. The traffic . . .”

I don’t think I could ever get used to the traffic. Not when I’m the kind of guy who likes his directions phrases as “turn left at the gas station and then hang a right by that big empty lot. Then when you get to the house with the German Shepard out front, take another right . . .”

Now, I can follow those directions. Doesn’t help much when you’re bumper to bumper at 70 mph and the only thing you can see besides other cars are those large walls that separate neighborhoods from the interstate.