Update

It certainly has been a long time since I’ve written much on my blog. But Kenzie has dominated much of out time. To be honest, she has gobbled up almost all of Kristie’s time, so I tend to try to help out with other things as best I can.

Now that coaching is over, hopefully I’ll be able to spend more time with her. My favorite moments are at night when she falls asleep on my chest in the rocker.

Unfortunately, that is one of the few times she seems to be content with me.

It’s a bit of a running joke around our house that she hates males. Kristie will hold her and Kenzie will be content and happy. She’ll hand her off to me, and the crying starts.
I’ll hand her back to Kristie and within a few seconds, she is content again!

Kristie said that when she brought Kenzie to work yesterday for a baby shower, she was a perfect angel for all the ladies there. However, when a male co-worker walked in, Kenzie began fussing.

So at least it isn’t me that so upsets her.

I don’t know if it’s my cologne or the fact that I haven’t spent nearly as much time with her as Kristie or if she can sense my frustration when she begins to fuss or what.

That little girl is the most confounding thing I’ve ever encountered in my life. When I hold her at night, so Kristie can finally get some rest, she will inevitably start fussing.

And I am at a total loss.

I try cradling her. I try holding her tight to my chest and burping her. I try holding her against my stomach and hopping. I try rocking her. I hum and sing (really, I can do neither but I give it my best shot).

And still she fusses.

Until Mom comes down and soothes her or feeds her.

I wish there was a button I could push that would work every time to relax and calm her.

However, Kenzie is getting better. Last night I was able to soothe her and spend some quality time with her. I tell you when she turns those big blue eyes on me and cracks a bit of a smile, I am totally hers. Everything else in the world just fades and I realize how big of a commitment I have to this beautiful little girl. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. But at the same time, I realize just how much I don’t know – and likely never will. So though I feel absolutely vital to Kenzie’s life, I am also completely humbled by her needs.


I don’t know how Kristie can carry on as well as she does. I swear being a new mom must cause the body to release extra endorphins or something.

She is a machine. Feeding and caring for Kenzie. As well as feeding and caring for Casey, KoKo, and I.

It really is something.

Yesterday, I burned a personal day with the intention of helping Kristie out. I envisioned holding Kenzie most of the day, while Kristie could get a break and spend some time to herself.

Well, it didn’t really work out that way.

Kenzie was up much of Wednesday night. Since Kristie breast feeds, there wasn’t much I could do whenever Kenzie became hungry. She was up until close to two. Then up early.

Since Kristie had her baby shower at work, I thought I’d get some stuff done around the house. However, since I was lacking the extra endorphins, I showered and pretty much zonked out for five hours.

In the end, I took the day off for me. What is it that they say about good intentions?