Uncle Allen

After nearly two years of battling serious health issues, Kristie's uncle Allen has now stopped his kidney dialysis and is preparing to die.

Gail has spent the better part of a year taking care of him. If you have read this blog at all, you know that has not gone easy for either of them. Allen has lived alone all of his life. He is a former science teacher and principal. Gail too has lived alone since her divorce. Both are incredibly headstrong and refuse to ever admit they're wrong about anything.

Allen often tells Gail that she doesn't talk. This frustrates Gail because the one thing she cannot do is be quiet. However, what Allen means is that Gail doesn't really have informed opinions since she has never been much of a reader or news watcher. Plus, Gail lacks the confidence to speak her mind when she is being picked on, which Allen, and Gail's sister, Joyce, tend to do simply because Gail is an easy target.

Now you will not find a more giving or caring person than Gail. But the past year has not been easy for any involved. Of course, it doesn't help matters when Gail has spent a good portion of the year lamenting her early retirement and begrudging having to give up her house and move in to Allen's basement, where she has lived as somewhat of a captive.

For Kristie and I, it now is difficult for us to feel the way Gail wants us to feel now that Allen is passing (she will soon canonize him and deny that he was ever mean to him, though we both have had hours devoted to hearing how poorly he treated her).

Luckily for us, Eddie and Brian made the trip up from Denver to see Allen before he dies, though neither of them were particularly close to him. This, of course, could not make Gail any happier.

We have not seen him. This sounds horrible, but I could not bear to see Kristie grandmother Theola before she died from lung cancer (and I was much closer to her than Allen) simply because of what I went through in the past few years with Mom and Dad. Kristie feels the same way and believes, rightly so, that it would insencere for her to show up now when they were never close and after having Gail fill her head with all of these horrible things that Allen has said to her mother.

Sadly, Allen marks now the 15th person we know who has died since we have been together. In our own families we have suffered considerably, the kids have lost relatives on their father's side of the family and we have lost my parents, Theola, another of Kristie's uncles, and several parents or spouses of dear friends.

We need to have more additions and far, far fewer subtractions.