Errrrr

KoKo and one of her friends are over before they leave this afternoon for a softball game in Roseau. Her friend has two things KoKo doesn't: a cell phone and a boyfriend. She has had the cell phone for at least two years now and this has to be about her fourth boyfriend already (she's about to enter 8th grade).

KoKo has packed her bag along with a lunch, made soup and sandwiches for herself and her friend, helped me organize a bookshelf, and terrorized Einstein all while her friend blathers on her cell phone about nothing to her boyfriend for close to an hour now.

First, what is so important that a to-be eighth grader has to waste 60 minutes talking to her boyfriend about? Have you ever even heard a to-be 8th grader talk? Sometimes I wonder if seniors can carry on worthwhile conversations for that extended period of time. But an 8th grader? Please!

Second, if she is on her fourth boyfriend now, how large will the number be when she actually enters high school - or God forbid -by the time she graduates?

Why are we in such a hurry to have our kids grow up? Or, better yet, why do some parents let them grow up so quickly?

KoKo already has a classmate, well, the girl in question technically flunked one year, so she should be a freshman, who is now pregnant. That's right. By the time she graduates (if she does), her child will be in pre-k. That has to be some kind of record.

Third, cell phones. Errrr. The bane of my existence. Now I can see a kid - just fascinated with how important they seem to be when they get their first cell phone - talking on the damned thing constantly. I don't encourage it, but I can at least see it.

But there is nothing sorrier than an adult on a cell phone all the damn time. When I was in Boston, I had a couple fellow teachers who were constantly (and you know who you are!) on those damn things all the time, texting and yakking about nothing.

Maybe people like to feel that they're so important that they have to stay up to date on every little thing that their kids are up to (Mom, I'm in the car now . . . Dad, I just finished mowing the lawn . . . Mom, I won't be home for supper . . . Dad, I just had a great bowel movement in the bathroom at the mall . . . I mean seriously. When did such trivialities take such precedence?)

The absolute worst is when I'm in line at the gas station or grocery store and some moron is blathering on their f&^%$n phone. Maybe if you're the president or a leading scientist or doctor I could see this. But the average Joe? Please.

So I have to now be exposed to a one sided conversation while I'm waiting behind the aforementioned moron on the cell phone. One of my colleagues even noticed a couple in a gas station with their blue tooth ear pieces in. And they were talking to each other!

(Thank God. KoKo's friend is finally off the phone).

I just don't see why cell phones went from being a convenience (to call for help if I run in the ditch or am worried about the kids or need to grab something for supper and need a list from Kristie) to a necessity.

And I won't even get into those who blather on them while driving. Have you ever had someone cut you off because they were yakking away? Or mess the order up at a four way stop because they were catching up on their child's bowel movements. Ridiculous.

When did adults become the children?

At least someone else shares my distaste for this cell phone insanity. And I'm all for the use of thumbscrews, by the way!

http://countryscribe.com/column/archives/column.php?id=186

(Shit! Her friend's cell phone just went off again. And here's another thing that pisses me off about cell phones. When did it become trendy to have songs instead of a normal ring tone? Now not only do I have to be annoyed by the constant ringing, but now I have to have my peace and quiet intruded upon by someone's lack of taste in music . . . or worse profanity - as was the case for the poor bastard in Boston who had his phone go off at one of our lectures).

Now the girls have finally left for the bus. Yes, KoKo's friend was still blathering away. I feel sorry for the poor boy on the other end. When I was that age there was nothing more excruciatingly painful that having to talk on the phone. Especially when he wants to go four wheeling (she was blathering on advising him to be careful and not hurt himself. She should stop torturing the poor kid then and hang up!).

But the insanity doesn't stop with cell phones. Parents are - more than ever - treating their kids like their peers - or far worse - their friends! I was listening to a news report that stated one of the main factors in parents buying cars happens to be what their kids think of it? Who cares about gas mileage or safety? If the kid likes it, buy it!

On top of this, how many kids do you see driving nicer cars than their parents? Or driving their parents into debt just to get a kid a car! Whatever happened to using the parents' car? Or the kid taking over the old beater that used to belong to their parents while the parents get themselves a new vehicle?

Of course, I'm not against supporting one's children or doing all one can for them, but parents need to think about the ramifications.

One of the best bits of parenting advice I've gotten so far came from a colleague in Boston. He said simply, "You don't have to be at everything. I hate when parents feel like they have to drive two hours just to see their kid play five minutes in a junior high game. If you can make it, great. Kids need to learn how to exist without you being there."

This just reaffirms something I've suspected for awhile - the pendulum has swung. When researching for "The Crucible" I found an account summarizing how the Puritan elders felt about children - basically, they should be overjoyed just to be able to walk down the street in complete silence. They were treated as mini adults. Only without any rights at all.

That view of children, thankfully, has eroded over the years. However, has it totally worn away?

My father's generation had to be one of the first to venture out into the area of athletics at the high school level. His father, who never attended school beyond the elementary level and had no time for sports - even if they would have been available to him, never attended any of my father's games. The man simply had to work too much and didn't have time to waste.

Things changed, though, with the next couple of generations. For now my father was going to live vicariously through his children. While he didn't make all of my games (he made most of my football games but he rarely made any baseball games), my mother did. Still, the message was clear to me: we support you, but your participation in athletics is not the basis of our lives. This is a completely sane message.

However, as we prepare to have Kenzie, just look at how far that pendulum was swung. Last spring at KoKo's CYBA basketball tournaments you would have been hard pressed to find one single child without a parent. And most had parents, siblings, and grand parents! It was like a caravan. Now, what I worry about is that while we are still sending the message that we support our kids, but we are also - inadvertently - sending the message that their participation in athletics is the basis of a good portion of our lives.

Why should I, then, get frustrated with KoKo or Casey for wanting to go to Grand Forks and take in a movie and shopping (even though from our point of view we go there enough for shopping and errands and to visit Gail) when we have already sent the message that they are so important by driving hours upon hours during the fall and winter to take in their games? I can't blame KoKo for expecting to get nearly everything she wants because we have practically given it to her!

Now that is not necessarily a bad thing, but what damage are we really doing to our children by giving them everything they want (and giving them everything that we didn't have or our parents didn't have)?

Again, providing for one's children is the most noble thing in the world. But aren't we going overboard with cell phones, new cars, ipods, computers, surgeries (and I'm not just talking about braces . . . over the past couple years the number one graduation present in some upper class communities just so happens to be breast implants or just check out how many moms, who should be providing for their children, are getting them themselves! What kind of a message is that sending?), and religious like devotion when it comes to attending every extra curricular event imaginable (don't you wonder about those parents who video their son's or daughter's fourth grade choir concert or the second home game of their peewee hockey season? Do people ever really watch those? What ever happened to just watching it and remembering it?)?

I'm sure some are thinking, oh just wait until Kenzie is born. True. I'm thinking the same thing. But at least I'm trying to think this insanity through. I know Kristie has already mentioned a couple of things that she won't have or be allowed to do. I too have a list of things in my mind. Don't worry. Even though the list is in my mind, there's still an asterisk in there that reads subject to change!

But you can't ever find a cure if you don't analyze the problem, right?