ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The best laid plans . . . errrr

Today in Science Fiction we were supposed to watch John Carpenter’s classic “The Thing.” However, as I discovered minutes prior to class, the movie is missing.

I likely misplaced it when I was moving the materials from the ALC (where I teach Science Fiction nearly ever summer session) to my classroom. Note to self –this summer I hope to actually teach the ALC class here in my own room. It would make life much, much easier. Several other teachers do it, so I’m going to try and see if I can.

That, of course, left me scrambling. I gave the students two choices: read a story from the textbook or have a day devoted to the free reading of their outside novels (they have to read a sci-fi novel of their choosing and then next week we are going to create imovie trailers for the novels).

The majority chose free reading. Several decided to do both. Wonderful.

Things started rolling along. Then one student who has become a thorn in my side saunters in late, as usual.

He demands to know why we aren’t watching “The Thing.”

To which I responded, “Had you actually shown up on time for once, you would have found out.”

He pouted a bit. Then he asked, “Well, what are we supposed to do now?”

I simply ignored such a stupid question – since the assignments are always written on the board.

He realized that I was ignoring him and turned to another student and asked.

They told him.

Then he said, “What am I supposed to do? I left my book at home.”

I thought about saying, “How many times have I told not just you, but the whole damn class to always bring your novel because you never know when you’ll finish early or have extra time to read.” Instead I opted for, “Well, then you’re screwed.”

Instead of figuring things out on his own and reading the story in the textbook, like several others were doing, he chose to slip.

I chose to be pissed off and woke him up.

I looked on their sign up sheet and found that his novel was Darker Than you Think. Oddly enough, I have two copies. When I alerted him to this fact, he shook his head and said, “I don’t want to read THAT! I have to read a book in a day or I don’t remember anything.”

At this point, I was boiling. Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot is screaming in my mind.

I should have gone on the attack. “So you lamented – look it up in a dictionary if you don’t know what it means – that you forgot your book at home. Yet, you tell me that you’re reading level is so phenomenal that you can read an entire book in one single day and recall everything. Why did you even bother to tell me that you forgot your book if you plan to read it in a single day?”

Instead, I calmly advised him to work on the story in the book and the assignments that go along with it.

The situation further irritated me when I graded his unit #1 test. The kid has our system figured out. He knows if he misses class time and hands work in late or waits to take a test (which I stupidly put down in the library because I’m too lazy to have students make it up before or after school in my room – note to self, do this from now on), he can wait until I return his peers’ work and copy from them. Likewise, with the test, I’m sure he memorized or just plain used someone else’s answer key to complete the test (note to self – from now on all make up tests are essay. I’m done being lazy).

Now, you might say, “Oh, give the kid the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he really did study and earned that 91/95 on the test.”

No. And how do I know he cheated? Because he took the test a week ago and just this week he was finishing reading stories and the novella that were on the test! How can you pass a test when you haven’t yet read the stories? Even I can figure that one out.

But I should be angry with no one other than myself.

The kid has my system figured out and he knows how to manipulate it to be lazy and sponge off the work of others.

But I have stopped returning student work. I grade it and enter it into the computer, but it doesn’t come back until I’m sure either everyone has turned it in or that I know who hasn’t and when their work comes in late, I simply give it automatic half credit since they could have copied.

And you can bet I’m going to scrutinize his imovie for every little glitch and inconsistency with his novel, which I have read several times.

No more welfare in here!

Of course, the irony is that while all of this is going on my speech for the honors banquet is taking shape in my mind. There I will be talking to our very best and brightest students. What a contrast!