Wednesday

It’s been years since I’ve taught “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.” But I gave it a whack today.

If it would have been any hour other than first, I think it would have gone much better. I won’t say that it bombed, I got some chuckles, a few verbal responses, and a few nods. But that was about it. (One day I’ll go on about my totally inability to get a discussion going. By discussion I mean an open dialogue in the class - not something coerced by some cheesy method of forcing students to share. I mean a real time when students can openly say what they think and react to it).

I started out trying to get them to discuss how they go about persuading their parents or friends. I got a few things but nothing really to go on. I then mentioned a great essay I read a few years ago written by one girl (who happens to be engaged to one student’s brother - but I never mentioned that in class) called “How to Get What I Want,” which was really a guide on how she manipulates her boyfriend. That only got a few people interested. But I was able to generate a pretty descent list of things students persuade their parents for and methods they use to persuade them.

Then I revisited Toulmin’s Method of Persuasion, something I covered in Comp I last year. We talked about how commercials really manipulate the viewers. We talked about cigarette ads in magazines and beer commercials (if I was really organized I’d have had some examples. I need to remind myself of that for next time).

Next I tried to walk them through how we might use the Toulmin Method ourselves. I gave them the topic, “I want to use the car this weekend.” Then I had them try to come up with grounds for why they should get the keys. I also tried to guide them toward a successful warrant (Toulmin believes this is the clincher for any argument. The warrant is the unstated or inferred assumption the person being manipulated makes between the claim (what I want) and the grounds (why I should have it). Toulmin studied lawyers. He found that those who won a majority of the time - regardless of their grounds and claims - won because of the successful warrants they established in the minds of the judges or jury members). This went over okay at best. One student offered this reason for getting the keys, “The Excel Dairy road is looking especially good.” He meant, it looks like fine conditions for some mud running. Now I explained that if he came out and actually said that, his father might envision his truck totaled or covered in mud or his transmission dragoon beneath the axles or other damage. Does he want to illicit that type of warrant in his father’s mind? On the other hand, I explained, this line of persuasion might actually work. For it just might conjure up memories of the father’s youth (the kind of ‘boys will be boys’ thinking) and remind him of all the good times he had doing the same exact thing with his father’s truck. And he just might let his son take the keys with a stern warning of, “You better be careful and wash it up before you get back!” It just might work.

That was probably the most successful part of the whole lesson.

I then tried to connect our innate ability to persuade and the art of persuasion to Edwards’ “Sinners.” I asked them what their local church services were like. No responses. Yet, I know - from previous classes - many attend services regularly. I asked them what their sermons were usually on. Nothing. Then I caved and gave them an example from an older priest who would fill in our parish sometimes. He was Father Noah, a real fire and brimstone kind of priest. My mom disliked him, but I got a kick out of him. My favorite line of his was when he recalled how many little old ladies in nursing homes complained to him about being lonely - to which he replied, “Good. You have more time to pray.” Ha. I loved it.

I asked the students to imagine being in church and then hearing the minister or priest say, “You’re all going to burn in hell you SINNERS!” That got their attention.

This led us into some of the background on Edwards and The Great Awakening that swept through early America in the mid to late 18th century. I did this with an eye towards introducing the religious fervor and intolerance that lead to the Salem witch trials (I have a video on this from the History Channel) and our eventual reading of Arthur Miller’s “The Crucible” and my personal favorite, Hawthorne’s “Young Goodman Brown.”

Then I turned them loose to read the snippet of the sermon and respond to it in their workbooks. (Note to self - next time have them devise their own sermons and deliver them or create an imovie in which they deliver them. That would be great.)

*****

After reading a back pack full of College Comp essays Sunday and Monday, I have created a banned word and phrase list. I’ll add to it as the year goes.

So far the inductees --

Bone chilling
Beautiful
Great
Wonderful
There is no other feeling like . . .
I thought to myself
A picture perfect . . . (anything)
The warmth of the sun
. . . like nothing else in the world.
Good
Nice
Fine
Bad
Really
Very
Terrible
Wonderful
A lot
A Lifetime of memories

****

I should know better. Last night at our game I ate a whole damn bag of Salt and Pepper flavored sunflower seeds. Idiot. Kristie has banned me from eating the barbecue ones - apparently my breath is atrocious after them. So I switched to just plain regular seeds. But I bought these new Salt and Pepper ones by mistake before we left for the game.

Today I am regretting it. My tongue feels like a dried up piece of ancient beef jerky.

I have to add chewing seeds to the ever expanding list of things I can’t do anymore (fit into a nice size 34 jeans is the previous addition. At least, though, I can still see my feet!). I remember in baseball when I used to just devour seeds. When I was a sophomore and didn’t log much playing time, I’d grab a bag of Dakota Kid seeds and I’d make a little mound before me on the bench by the fifth inning.

Then the flavored ones came out. I was all about the BBQ ones - especially all the hot seasoning that inevitably sifts to the bottom of the bag so that last mouthful is about 50% seeds and 90% seasoning. That was great. But as with my Atkins breath, I didn’t know how bad it was until Kristie alerted me.

Now I have the mouth of a petrified Mount Everest climber. So far if it isn’t nice cold yogurt, it pretty much tastes like cardboard.

Then again, maybe it I eat more seeds and keep my taste buds so dried out I might just be able to take fitting into a size 34 jeans off my list of things I can’t do anymore.

*****

Life’s little ironies. In my 11th grade English class, I have them writing an “Eye Witness” report on an event from their lives. This is done to coincide with all of the journal accounts we have been reading. One of my students, a very good athlete, happened to write one about an experience in basketball. He titled it “Coach &*^%^%: The Second Coming of Hitler.” The only problem was that he must not have logged into our English lab when he first started typing. So when he printed his first draft, it printed to the lab he logged in to, which happened to be the business lab, which happens to be frequented by several coaches. In fact, the girls basketball coach handed me this essay (I had them keep their rough drafts for peer editing tomorrow)! Now when I remind this student to be aware of the importance of choosing the correct log in site, the point should be driven home quite powerfully.

Ha.

****

We are watching the mythic “Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail” in 12th grade English. The cocoa nut scene. The “Bring out your dead” gag. The classic, gruesome battle with the black knight. Catapulting livestock. Those bunnies that attack. Should be interesting.

*****

So far my College Comp students have been writing little descriptive free writes. I’m trying to get them a lot of practice. Then I’ll give them the option of choosing one of their free writes to develop into their first essay - or theme. But they have so many little things to learn. The least of which is getting rid of all those clichés and formulaic language.

Right now I’m reading an essay about a student’s favorite time of the year - a bonfire her family has. However, the student is clumsily jumping from one sense to the other (as if they are thinking “this sentence is devoted to the colors and this one is to smell and this one is to the feelings and emotions and one more to describe the colors of the fading embers and one more to cover the sound of the fire”) rather than writing a cohesive essay that makes the reader feel like they’re right there with them at the bonfire. I need to remind students to write about something as if they are really there at the event or in their favorite time of the year instead of just writing about describing an event or their favorite time of the year, which makes for some awful reading.

****

College Comp. I had students read their essays. What a way to spend an hour. We didn’t dig into the essays the way I wanted, but the students, well most anyway, don’t have the tools for that yet. But they will.

And what stories! They were - for the most part - great to read. But to hear them read aloud was even more powerful.

One student wrote about his great, great grandfather’s wallet that he brought to this country 150 years ago. Another student wrote about inheriting - along with her two brothers - her grandfather’s black Ford Galaxy, the same car in which the grandfather proposed to her grandmother before he left for World War II, a student writing about the end of the year tradition of handing in books and looking forward to summer, a student describing a boat going beneath a rainbow on their lake, a frigid hockey game on an outdoor rink and the blessed hot chocolate that awaited in the warming house. And then there was the show stopper - an essay about a ring handed down from a grandmother after her death and a note that read, “I will always be proud of you.” That one almost brought me to tears. What writing!

From the students shock at the fire and brimstone of “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” to their all out laughter at the Dark Knights disfigurement in “Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail” to that final essay, today was one of those days I’d gladly show up and do this for free.