Our Vows

We decided to write our own vows, and since the pastor's sermon took about 30 seconds, it was a good thing we did! Kristie and I have never been short on words.

I thought I'd follow Kristie in reciting them, but the pastor offered me the chance to go first, and I took it! I knew her's would be a very difficult act to follow.

And I thought I'd be able to read them, but once I got to the part about Mom and Dad, I lost it. That got me choked up, which, in turn, got others worked up (particularly poor KoKo, who was a mess!).

Here are mine --


These words have been the hardest I’ve ever written. For I wanted them to be as true, as real, and as permanent as this bond we forge today.

That, dear, is no easy task.

So I started thinking of love and time. The infinite and finite. Love that makes our time together precious. Time that makes our love so valuable. Because while our love might be inexhaustible, our time is not.

So that got me to thinking of this . . .

Love was

Love is

Love will be

Love was Mom and Dad.

Mom baked for the holidays and Dad was last to leave the table. The stories and laughter rang heavy in the air and heavier in our hearts.

Dad watched from the sidelines and Mom honked the horn.

Mom read mystery novels and Dad napped in his recliner.

Dad gathered us around Mom as she passed and then we gathered around Dad as he passed.

Now

Love is you

You, dear, making our lives beautiful with your passion and zest. Transforming an
old house into our home.
You, my love, supporting and inspiring me. Whenever I get discouraged or doubt myself, I task, what would Kristie do in this situation? How would she handle this?
You, my dearest friend, laughing at my silly jokes and smiling any gloom away.
Catching a glimpse of you and feeling a tear in my eye. Watching you and
smiling so hard my cheeks ache.


It is also

Casey growing into a young man - both confident and awkward in his own skin.
lying on our bed and visiting to the wee hours.
grousing on Saturdays when we roust him and take him off to wherever he doesn’t want to be.

Koko becoming more beautiful each day - and more aware of that beauty
singing and dancing when she doesn’t know I’m watching
saying “I love you” a dozen times a day.


And in the future

Love will be us

Our families shall form new traditions.
Gail will bake for the Thanksgiving.

At Eater Ed’s stories will echo through his house while Lori will shake her head in amusement at Easter.

We will gather at Dad’s in July for our picnics. The stories and laughter will ring again heavy in the air and heavier in our hearts.

Love will be
paying you back with one thousand kisses
being tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
realizing over and over that you’re the one I want to go through time with
us making our life while we’re busy making other plans.

And in the time we will have and with all the love we will have
we simply will be
a new family.


Kristie followed me and was as spectacular as I knew she'd be. My good friend, and former advisor, Mark, emailed me and said if Kristie was as beautiful as her vows, I was indeed a lucky man. And I most certainly am.

Here are her vows.


We’ve always been told it’s better to give than to receive. Maybe it makes me selfish, but I readily receive all that you have so unselfishly given me.

You have given me laughter
You have given me companionship
You have given me friendship
You have given me peace
You have given me happiness
You have given me stability
You have given me honesty
You have given me patience
You have given me loyalty
You have given me balance
You have given me your heart and soul
You have given me those blue eyes to get lost in
You have given me your random-abstract ways
You have given me the Bengals

You have given my children an unbelievable step-father-one that genuinely loves and cares for them

You have given me another wonderful brother and sister along with their beautiful families.

You have given me the privilege of knowing Tex and Sue; two of the kindest, gentlest, sweetest people that were taken away from us far too soon

But most importantly you have given me love. Unconditional, unwavering, undying love. A love that is so strong and so pure, it often overwhelms me. A love I greedily accept because it completes and fulfills my entire being.

And because no relationship can sustain with one giver and one receiver, and because I do believe my mom and dad raised me right, I promise to give to you as well.

I give you my laughter
I give you my companionship
I give you my heart
I give you my friendship
I give you my faith in us
I give you my goofiness
I give you Casey and KoKo, and Joker, and Kozy, and Einstien and Mischa
I give you my family
I give you my honesty
I give you my loyalty
I give you some things you may not want: such as my concrete-sequential and neurotic ways of doing things, my inexplicable need to dance at random moments, my cooking and my Packers

But above all, I give you my love. Because darling, I never knew it was possible to love someone (other than Casey and KoKo) as much as I love you. It’s a love that aches when you’re absent and shines when you’re near. It’s a love that will continue to grow and blossom with each new sunrise. It’s a love that needs to be shared because it is far too much for me to keep to myself.

I love you Kurt and may we continue to give and receive each other’s love for ever and for always.