I just realized the problem with all that work we did yesterday. I am sitting here reading essays for my College Comp class. One student just wrote about how she juggles helping her father raise their family, sports, work, school, student senate, being a teenager, and a million other things. As I'm sitting amazed at her candid writing and her great use of dialog, I notice a sentence "During my lunch hour, I go home to feed my youngest brother, Martin, if I'm not bringing him to school as well." I stop and make a note that this last clause doesn't seem to fit. I think it's unclear (has Martin been sleeping in? Is his schooling only half a day? Does she battle with her father over getting him to school?). I also think it should be expanded more to put greater emphasis on this detail.
So as I'm writing these comments on her paper, I think of what is undoubtedly part of a standard or benchmark somewhere "Students will know how to correctly use adverb clauses." Then it hits me, that isn't important. Well, I guess it is, but not in the grand scheme of things. Will getting this student to use an adverb clause correctly really impact her life? That comment sure as hell pales in comparison to the voice and style and aliveness (I just invented that term) of her essay. That's what we need to be teaching kids.
I ended the comment on this student’s paper with “This was a treat. If your essay went on for another 10 pages, I’d read those just as eagerly as these two!” There is no type of adverb worksheet or exercise that I would eagerly read.
"Students will write reflectively on their lives and develop their own style and voice in their writing." Now that outta be a standard or benchmark.
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